Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?. "You will be alone. Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou, I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Hello to a new adventure. I cant get old; Im working. George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. 25. It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns Are you married to a police officer? Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! Custom and user added quotes with pictures. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". It means choice." I call it bliss." Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? One of my favorite parts of planning retirement parties is the opportunity to get all punny and think up funny cake sayings for retirement and invites. Why did the police arrest the star? to date. Unknown, Expect the best. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." Women go right on cooking." You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Dishes who? The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. different scenarios on retirement income. Take Us With You! Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." Enjoy your new 7 day weekend You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. Unknown, "The best part about being retired is never having to request time off." I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! 13. Mason Cooley, Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. This highway is completely empty. Driver: Thats what Im telling you Im really far behind.. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. quotesgram.com. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. 13. 41. Nothing happens by accident. Mason Cooley, Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. individuals can use on their own behalf to help think through their future plans, but should not be "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home forever." - Gene Perret "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." - Fred Rogers "Retirement is not the end of the road. An officer pulls over a man for speeding. Because it was mugged. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. Retiring State Trooper acted upon as a complete financial plan. This religious prayer and word of encouragement is a great way to honor the retiring police chief and wish him or her all the best for a happy and peaceful retirement life. Live well and prosper. 14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best! Beautiful Retirement Poems Each poet examines the fundamental opposites of bliss and poison. 40. Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving? The purr-petrator. Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. 29. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!". 32. 2. This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. Have you ever been pulled over for a speeding ticket that you didnt think you deserved? Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! ~ Ernie Harwell. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Samuel Johnson, In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. Funny Retired Police Officer Golf Retirement Gift T-Shirt 4.8 (9) $1999 FREE delivery Wed, Mar 8 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon Amazon Merch on Demand 5.0 (10) +4 colors/patterns Retirement Gift Ideas Police Officer Men or Women Mens Retired Police Officer Law Enforcement Sheriff Retirement T-Shirt 5.0 (1) $1799 There's more time for leisure but retirees take many different paths. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. 11. Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. What happened? Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. 31. George Burns Retirement life: seen it all, done it all - Can't remember most of it! "Retirement is wonderful. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" 4. Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. Before you pray, forgive. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. . Police say they have nothing to go on. A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. - Gail Sheehy. Whos the most famous lawn detective? Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." 30. 57. What does it look like? the woman asked. Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? There is no requirement that police stop a person who enters a police station and states that he wishes to confess a crime or a person who calls the police to offer a confession because volunteered statements of any kind are not barred by the 5th Amendment. Thats becuase it was a shooting star. "We envy you, but are excited for you!". I saw a fruit running from the police recently. As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. 56. Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. I got stopped last night by a police officer. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. Funny police retirement quotes sayings. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. You might catch something contagious. of loyal and dedicated service to As long as youre working, you stay young. 65 tips for a healthy, wealthy and happy retirement. The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world? Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Required fields are marked *. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. 33. Congratulations. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. A trisara-cop. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. It is the beginning of the open highway. Retirement is a Piece of Cake. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . I dont feel anything until noon. Unemployed and Loving It. We, the members of the NYPD, Why did the police arrest the turkey? Before you write, think. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. Patrick Foley. Happy Retirement! The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. "Congratulations on your retirement!". What did the police officer say to the hand? Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . What kind of dinosaur works for the police? Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez It is better to live rich than to die rich. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Everywhere I touch it hurts.". 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes. 37. Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. It's when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it." may Gods blessings be upon you To the People of the State of New York. George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Samuel Johnson, Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. 59. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade. Two rounds a day are plenty. "That's great!" says the doctor. Before cuffing the artist, he looked at the mural and said, Now that is bold.. Retirement! See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." Ruby Dee, "Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. It was mugged. So, he died of natural causes. The money is no better in retirement but the hours are! However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. All the best for an amazing retirement! Before you retire, save. Cop: Where do you think youre going?, Driver: Donut shop, officer. Cop: At 80 miles per hour? Driver: I wanted to make sure I beat you there, so there would still be donuts to buy.. 20. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. Call us today at 928-985-6259 and learn more about our facility and what we have to offer todays seniors. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. You're no longer cuffed to a job. What are the cat police called? We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. "Half our life is spent trying to find . A bloody clock!" 30. 33. I can see a few of you look puzzled. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. Also, congratulations, Boss! done for this department over the years! I win! and drove off. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss 11. As we express our gratitude, we must never So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. Peter Lynch. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. Unknown, I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances. Anonymous The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Henry Ford, Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. Why are policemen such great volleyball players? This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. Law Enforcement Officer Wife Support Law Enforcement Police Family Police Life Police Force Heroic Men Nypd Blue Gun Humor Definitely! You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! Cars are backed up for miles. to the New York Police Department. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. Retirement Quotes. Police Retirement. Present This to You as a Symbol of picclick.com. C K. Spartan Police Theme Party Cop Party Lego Party Policeman Party Officer Party Police Officer 6th Birthday Parties Boy Birthday Birthday Ideas Police Birthday Invitation Printable by TwirlyDesigns on Etsy, $12.00 S Kim Childers Police Wife Life Police Family Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." We, your Friends and Brothers, Thats how he contributes to the welfare of the community. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. They serve and protect. J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. May you enjoy your retirement! provides you with a way to estimate your future retirement income needs and assess the impact of
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